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The Story of Frelf (But in Poem Form)
By: None other than
the Amazing Funtacular Spedirific Shnookems
There once was a
girl named Frelf.
Who truly adored
herself.
She brushed her
teeth
At least once a
week
And made sure her
shoes were tied.
She had a friend
named Gnome.
She was a squeaky
whore.
Her friend Shnookems
had a fish named Fur-Ball.
She didnt want to
cook him,
But the Gnome did.
Shnookems said,
DONT TOUCH MY FISH,
BITCH!
And kicked the crap
out of her.
Then came the Little
One.
She raped the Gnome.
Frelf got jealous
And kicked the crap
out of her.
Pooki twitched and
Shnookems twitched too,
Then they ate hamster
soup.
But Shnookems still
had to
Kick the crap out
of her.
And um. And um..
And um.
Don't Touch My Car!!!
by Shnookems
"Hey you guys," Lindsay shouted as she pulled to the barn
in her new car, "like it?"
"Yea, it's nice," We mused while walking towards the shiny
new vehicle.
"I like the color, and it looks so clean." Catelyn stated.
"Can we go for a ride?" Gnome asked. We all threw in nods
of agreement. We anxiously reached for the door handles to get in.
Lindsay's face twisted as she got mad.
"Don't touch my car!" Lindsay shouted angrily. " You might
get fingerprints on it, and I paid for it myself and you guys will break it somehow, I know it. Plus, I don't want the alarm
to go off. You see, I have this alarm system installed and it goes off all the time. After a minute or two it arms itself
and if you touch it, it will go off. And when it does go off it is really loud. I don't want you guys to touch it because
you will set it off because you guys are stupid. Then the alarm will spook all the horses and then Ev will come yell at me
because it is my car that is making all the noise. Then I will have to tell her to yell at you because you set off the alarm
and she will scream at you. You guys know that won't be fun. Then I will scream at you too because she yelled at me first
and it was all your fault. Then we will all have to go make sure no horses flipped out and that everyone is okay. And no more
fighting for the front seat, you might hit my car. If you guys get fingerprints on it, you will have to clean them off. I
want to keep it clean, at least for a little while. Catelyn, don't leave your clothes in my new car. Gnome, throw away your
trash now. Don't leave it on the seats. And, you guys? Don't lick the handles!"
We went inside and called for a cab.
STDs (For the Gnome)
by shnookems (who else?)
I get turned on, then I bleed.
I dont think thats normal.
I would go to a doctor,
But I bleed all the time
Cause Im always turned on.
That is the problem with STDs.
Bleeding horny Gnomes. What the Hell.
UNIBROW
once again by shnookems
Where are her eyes?
They are hidden by fuzz.
Hideous fuzz invading her face.
Brown and fluffy,
Her unibrow lives.
Its hideousness appalls us.
Evil and malevolent,
Its out to destroy the world.
Must shave..
Die Unibrow, die.
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